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Being married to someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is oftentimes strenuous, exhausting, and debilitating. Once it becomes utterly unbearable, divorce must be considered. While considering to doing what's right for you and your children does set you on to the right path, moving forward for a divorce with a narcissist will be extremely difficult. There are many ways to combat the psychological and emotional abuse that will most likely be thrown at you - all the while keeping your job and putting food on the table for your family.
When it comes to divorces between two individuals with stable mental health, it oftentimes leads to one or both parties feeling down on themselves, leading to lowered self-esteem. Add a narcissistic personality into the equation and things just got a lot tenser. Narcissists usually go for others who are considered caregivers, empathetic, loyal, and understanding.
Just because someone took your admirable qualities and turned them into a manipulation tool does not mean you need to feel bad about yourself. Remind yourself of who you are and why you're such a catch; doing things such as getting extra ready for work, planning time out with your friends, or doing something special for your kids will remind you of all the positives you have to look forward to in your life now and in the future after your divorce.
Any divorce can be extremely tough to work through, even those without infidelity, mental health issues, or kids. Now adding a narcissist to the list will most likely make any situation that could have been amicable turn into a war. Setting these expectations early on will allow you to brace for what's coming and not back down to anything you otherwise wouldn't have expected. You don't need to have the last word, make yourself look like a victim, or get under anyone's skin.
The facts speak for themselves and to get out of this unscathed you need to center yourself and decide you won't participate in ANY of these antics. This is why it's so important to hire a trustworthy, level-headed divorce attorney to work with you on your case. Is your desire to protect your kids or the narcissist's ulterior motives going to be what drives this case?
With a level head and experienced attorney like the one here, you can be sure it'll be the former.
Before this whole process starts, let your work colleagues know what's going on and your plan to stay focused at work. It's important to set the stage for what's to come in other areas of your life instead of trying to hide it. Most people have sympathy for those dealing with emotionally abusive spouses and laying it out on the table will do more harm than good.
Don't even think to go into this legal situation alone - get your attorney, family, friends, coworkers, and parents in on what you're doing to better yourself and your situation so you can be a better friend, daughter/son, coworker, or parent in the future. Framing it this way will subconsciously allow others to be more patient and caring with you.
Once it is all over, they will have the "old you" back that they remember before you were waiting hand and foot on your abusive ex. Take your power back and unite your front with those who love and care for you.
Before you go into this, just remember: you will make it out alive and you'll finally be free of the emotional, physical, or psychological abuse you once had to endure.